Cocaine Bear is the Snakes on a Plane, we all need right now.
A B-movie with jokes and, this one is even an utterly mental ‘true’ story.
Cocaine Bear was theatrically released in the US on February 24, 2023, by Universal Pictures. and has grossed $54 million worldwide already.
As the headline of this article says I haven’t seen it, too busy writing this for a start.
But I have one slight issue with it.
No, my issue is not about cocaine use as ‘woke moviegoers saw the new “Cocaine Bear” — and they think it’s way out of line’, reports New York Post
I mean the answer is in the name of the film, so if you don’t like drugs or drug use (especially by animals) then give it a miss.
The reviews have been generally great so far though, this one for example by Mell Valentin from That Shelf:
“It’s a mix of creative, slasher-style kills, offbeat humour, and a CGI bear that comes closer than most VFX beasts in terms of being both believable and giddily terrifying.”
So is it a true story? Well, yes and definitely not no.
PLOT SPOILER – SORT OF
In 1985, a bear was found dead in the Georgia woods after consuming a drug smuggler’s stash of cocaine that was dropped from a plane.
The containers had held about 75 pounds (34 kilograms) of cocaine, valued at $20 million.
When the government turned up all of the containers had been ripped open, with their contents scattered and a dead bear.
The chief medical examiner Dr. Kenneth Alonso, stated that the unfortunate bear’s stomach was “literally packed to the brim with cocaine.”
“Its stomach was literally packed to the brim with cocaine. There isn’t a mammal on the planet that could survive that,” he said.
“Cerebral haemorrhaging, respiratory failure, hyperthermia, renal failure, heart failure, stroke. You name it, that bear had it.”
So the bear, in all likelihood, ate numerous kilos of the drug in one go, had an instant heart attack and dropped down dead.
The filmmakers have managed to stretch this fairly sad event out to a feature length comedy/horror.
The bear was dubbed “Pablo EskoBear.”
So where did the bear end up?
The bear was then stuffed and displayed at a mall in Kentucky.
Here is the trailer (below)
But when you are sitting down, enjoying the film, maybe spare a thought for Pablo Eskobear, who probably died from a massive heart attacks seconds after they swallowed the coke.
So pour out a little liquor or, if you are that way incline, do a line in the bear’s honour.